What 30 People with ADHD Want You to Know

If you are a parent of a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), you are likely very familiar with other people's judgments and perceptions of your child, especially as you try to figure out the best way to raise them.

Some may judge your parenting and claim you need to discipline your child, while others describe your child as "naughty" or "out of control".

Regardless of the explanation, sometimes it seems people have little room for empathy and kindness toward those with ADHD. It is heartbreaking to think that our children with ADHD grow up believing they are "bad". We need to help them change how they view themselves.

As parents, we tend to speak on behalf of our children, but our children have their own voices and messages to share.

So, 30 children were asked about one thing you wish people understood about ADHD? Responses came from children as young as 6 years old up to college students.

These were their responses in their own words:

"I wish people wouldn't act negatively toward my hyperactivity."

"I simply cannot control myself. This lack of control makes me feel like a failure most days."

"When I take my medication, I know I sit still more and get things done faster. You might say it makes me smarter. However, when I take it, I don't laugh or joke as much, nor do I feel like singing, and I feel emotional. If you were in my shoes, would you rather be smart or happy?"

"When I was a kid, I wished people understood that I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop my brain from jumping any more than I could stop my heart from beating or my lungs from breathing. And it was just as frustrating for me as it was for them."

"I wish people knew how hard I try to maintain discipline."

"I just wish they realized that I need to move."

"I wish people understood that I am not a bad kid."

"I cannot stop repeating when I move."

"I try not to be naughty."

"When you ask me why I don't enjoy learning more. And you might think I just need to look at something once or twice to memorize it. What you don't realize is that it takes me long hours just to calm my mind first, and to pay enough attention so that I can look at that thing I need to memorize."

"It is hard for me to remember whether I put shampoo or conditioner in my hair. Did I already do it? Should I do it again? Did I remember to put detergent in the laundry?"

"I wish people knew how smart I am."

"I wish people understood me."

"I can't make my brain stop; I'm not in control of it."

"I need to hear loud music to drown out my racing mind. I talk fast because I want to get everything out, and if people listen and engage, I can stay on track easily. When I get home from school, my 'coping skills toolbox' is almost empty. I need to retreat and rest. During TV time, rocking and jumping helps me keep up with what is happening. I also need subtitles on every show."

"My brain explodes with activity, and it's hard to focus; this makes my body need to move."

"My brain feels like it's going to throw up."

"[My symptoms make me anxious]. I wish people were more understanding when I face difficult times."

"I wish people understood that I don't always mean the things I say. I have so many thoughts in my head that sometimes things come out of my mouth whether I want them to or not."

"I wish people would stop calling it a disorder. I'm different, my brain works differently, that doesn't mean it's bad or wrong."

"I wish people understood that I am not lazy [and that I] care about my responsibilities. My brain is in a thousand places at once."

"The problem is that my brain is always in a million places at once and I forget things easily because there is always so much happening in my head, and with so much on my mind it is almost impossible to decide what to remember and what to forget. Another thing I would add is that I am not "stupid". I am very good at problem-solving, but my problem is memorization. All school subjects require memorization rather than coming up with solutions to real-life problems, and that is what I excel at."

"I am bad at achievement tests."

"I really try, but most people think I'm lazy."

"I wish I could remember all the things I didn't even know I forgot... like remembering to turn in homework."

"I hate homework. I spent the whole day writing at school, so why should I write at home? Home time is rest time."

"I wish my teachers understood that I can't control my movement in class. It's not fair to get into trouble for something I can't control. Sometimes it's a good thing because I always have a lot of energy to get tasks done. ADHD is not bad."

"I want to behave, but my brain sometimes tells me not to. I have really big feelings and I don't mean to get angry when things don't go my way."

"I don't intend to misbehave. I need understanding, and to be helped."

"No matter how hard you try to focus on what's going on around you, it's all blurry because your focus is on everything else at the same time. I sometimes feel like my head is going to explode because everything is moving so fast at the same time and I can't choose what to turn on and turn the rest off. Like when I try to read, but I don't remember what I read because I'm thinking about math, science, lunch, and recess all at the same time. I forget a lot, for example if my dad asks me to go get something from my room, I don't remember why I'm there and I have to go back and ask because I heard that I was supposed to go upstairs, but then I'm already thinking about other things and forgot the reason."

Adapted translation

https://themighty.com/2017/10/kids-adhd-what-to-know/

Originally published in Arabic. This English version was produced with AI-assisted translation; the Arabic original remains the reference.